There are two things that I want to say to you. One – Never apologize for feeling the way you do. NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR FEELING THE WAY YOU DO.

Contrary to popular belief, you have a right to exist in this world. In this exact human form. You have a right to feel all the feelings, for as long as you choose, in any way that you choose. You are not too much. Too big. Too loud. You are, in fact doing everything in your power not to be. And yet, there is so much rage sitting just beneath the surface of your heart. I know. I feel it. There is so much to be angry about. But I don’t need to tell you that.

I know you are doing your best to live and love freely in this oppressive place. To forgive people who interrupt, silence, underestimate and mistreat you. Even as they say how much they like and/or love you. I know how hard you are trying NOT to be that angry black woman. And yet, here we are. It is so fucking exhausting.

And underneath it all is pain. The pain of being overlooked. The pain of having to be strong and patient. The pain of not being thought of as beautiful, or ladylike, or soft. The pain of being misunderstood over and over again.

The second thing I want to say to you is this – You do get to fall apart. Go ahead. Rage, throw a tantrum, scream, cry ugly tears. And you don’t even have to do it alone. You get to ask for help. It does not equal weakness, it equals vulnerability. A subtle distinction that is often confused. But vulnerability leads to connection, which we so desperately need.

If you cannot go anywhere else to be vulnerable, you can come here. You can come sit with me and be held in all of your glorious pain. And when the tantrum is done and the wave of intensity has passed (for now), I’ll still be here. Ready to help you re-adjust your crown. Ready to watch you march back out into the cold with your head held high. If no one else gets it. If no one else can see you, I promise, I can.

All my love, always.

~From us, to us