Your Partner Cannot Read Your Mind


One of the biggest communication issues that I see in couples time and again is constantly making assumptions. Assuming that you know your partner so well that you can always tell what they are thinking. “I know exactly what she’s going to say!” Or on the other hand, assuming that your partner “should” know you well enough to read your mind. “He should know why I’m upset!” Often in relationships, just the opposite is true. Two people can come away from the same interaction with wildly different feelings about and interpretations of what happened. This is one instance in which “reading between the lines” can be detrimental. Agreeing not to make assumptions can change your life and relationships (For more on this read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz)

Instead of assuming that we already know what is going to come out of our partner’s mouth before they say it, it can be incredibly transformative to simply ask. Something that we have been stewing over for months may have had an entirely different intention than the way it was received. Your partner cannot read your mind! If you are hurt, say so! If you think they did/said something for one reason, make sure! You might be surprised at what you find out.

Tajah Sahar Schall MA, LPC, R-DMT

I provide somatic (body-based), social justice oriented counseling to individuals, couples and families of all sociocultural backgrounds. I support adolescents and their families through the unique and often difficult time of transition by incorporating movement, nature and rites of passage into the therapeutic process.


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